You are not alone.

"What you still need to know is this: before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we've learned as we've moved toward that dream. That's the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one 'dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon. Every search begins with beginner's luck. And every search ends with the victor's being severely tested."

- Paulo Coelho, from his best-selling book The Alchemist.

WOW!!! This struck me deeply when I read it today. So much so, I jotted it down in my journal and I've posted it here. I feel I need to keep reading it to get the full breadth and weight of the words to sink in my consciousness. Did I really stumble on this for chance... probably but it is meaningful so I'm going to rif off of it.
When Jesse got the opportunity to work at TCAs new campus in Raleigh we were both super psyched. I had been longing to be near my family and honestly... really despised the Indiana winters. There were two Heidi's summer and winter.
I kept telling my patients all the details that went into our choice and we would agree sounds like it was meant to be. So the beginners luck fits here. And so the story goes.
The task at hand: to show I have mastered the skills I need to realize my dream.
Sloughing off layers of sludge and soot accumulated to keep me in the holding pattern for my role I had created. Each layer needing pried off and scrubbed clean revealing liveliness, creativity, wonder and sometimes heartache.
This in between time as I am traversing my "desert" I have had an opportunity to go within and seek what emotional blocks are keeping me from growing, what I thought I had to have that I don't, love for what is. We end in a couple weeks after my literal test. I am confident this will mark the end of this chapter and will reveal the gifts of the next. I am not there yet but I have an optimistic spirit.
I take comfort in the words sited because it shows I am not alone in my pursuit. You are here too. Striving to realize your dream. Each of us working toward a life of happiness expressed in our individual way. Keep up the effort. Be you, unique, beautiful, comfortable in your skin and happy to be headed in the direction you are taking.
Love and light,
Heidi