Have yourself a Merry LIttle Christmas

Still continuing to practice guitar. What a beautiful song. A little slow in parts next year it will be even better. :-)

When push comes to shove

What an adventure. House hunting, house finding, house inspecting, finance approving, negotiating...phew! How can a person want to sell their house but do nothing to work with the person who wants to buy the house. I'm not sure how I feel about this adventure and what lessons it brings. Most of all I'm disappointed. There is a reason realtors are a part of real estate transactions. There are emotions attached to the structures we call home. Strong emotions. Those of a life lived and those of a life planned. So where do you draw the line? When do you decide to say no. For some it is right away. They know exactly how far they will go (or not go) and they stick to it. Others analyze, weigh it out, make a decision and bit by bit come to a conclusion that feels best. I would say realtors have a hard job. I'm glad to have many realtor friends and have a new respect for what you do. It is a rare occasion when a patient comes into my office and doesn't want to follow the treatment plan but wants to feel better and when that happens... I tell them my office is not a quick fix stop it takes time to heal the tissue and gain rehabilitation from the stress that caused the changes in their body creating inflammation and pain. I help them fit their healing desires into their lifestyle. Sometimes its a compromise. Sometimes they have to go elsewhere to get a more aggressive treatment. Sometimes we do a little of both. Correspondingly when selling a home a seller can set their bar and stick to it. This is the experience we just had. The sellers would not budge on... anything and had unrealistic goals. We finally decided to call time of death when they would not even address safety issues such as radon, lead pain, and minor faulty wiring. Really???
I tried to gain perspective... looking from their point of view. All I could gain was... it was time to move on. We were not the buyers for this home... and that is okay because there will always be another house and I strongly dislike feeling taken advantage of. So... bye bye house may you do well in your future with the current owners because it seems as if they are pretending they want to sell.

When push comes to shove. Get out of the way and let the person shove against themselves and the obstacles they create. Simplify.

OH LA La

I'm sure most can relate to being a care giver and not being able to take the discomfort away from a loved one. I hear this from patients in reference to their parents, partners, and children. This past week was a meditation in just being a companion through a journey of healing. Fiona's body did all the right things... fever, vomiting, swelling, redness. All we could do is be with her. Rock her back to sleep, rub her belly, and give lots and lots of hugs. It was a challenge to keep my fear in check as to what could be the cause. Sometimes because of my training in physiology and biochemistry it is easy to list out all the possibilities and not have the reasoning to rule the obvious far-out-there options due to the fact that it is my daughter who is in discomfort. The pricelessness came in having the skill set to examine her nutrition points and check for her needing an adjustment daily. One day it was her low back that needed adjusted, then her C1 vertebra (common when fighting a virus), and also her upper back. Throughout the week her URT stress point flared up, then her SPL stress point (both are different immune points), then her challenge stress point (constipation due to so much sweating from the virus and some vomiting.). I could watch her body work through fighting. What an amazing feat our bodies go through daily to maintain homeostasis.
Today she is on her second nap (as she requested... she says "bed") and has asked for some solid foods as well as a couple back to back episodes of Daniel Tiger. (We just ordered her a Daniel Tiger T shirt from PBS. I'm sure she will want to wear it EVERY DAY!!!
It is a challenge to be with a loved one who is fighting, healing... as we all are in varying degrees everyday. Sometimes in the office patients get better very quickly... sometimes it takes more time, more diligence, more work... sometimes we can only get so far. What a life lesson. One to be practiced over and over. Enjoy the now. Kiss your children. Open your heart. Be patient. Smile. Breathe.

For my mental health I most often turn to a book titled "Not so Big Life" and read wherever it lands me. Today my take away is.

 One of the most difficult skills to develop is the ability to say no

when you know that's what the situation requires. 

When you listen to what your body and your intuition are telling you

and when you slow down a bit so that you can be more engaged, 

tasks that seemed stultifying when you were overtaxed can reveal

themselves to be of a very different character. They can be stimulating 

and enthralling when you are well rested and in a more peaceful state of mind

and thus in a higher or more open state of being. It's not the task that is the problem;

its the speed at which you are trying to do it and the lack or presence as you engage.

Nothing is worth jeopardizing your health for. Nothing.

-Sarah Susanka

So today... the dishes need done, the tub cleaned out, laundry folded, grass mowed, toys picked up, food supply replenished. However, none of that is going to happen because today we are going to recoup. We need naps, we need snuggles, and we need each other. Family.

New TV (journal entry)

This morning our T.V. died. Its been on the blink for the past week and today we played taps on the bugle horn for it. We've had that T.V. for a very long time. When we got that T.V. Jesse told me for... oh at least 6 months he was researching T.V.'s and waiting for the right sale. Finally the day came. We went to two different stores... best buy and... Fry's maybe. Anyway, We went back and forth between the two stores twice and he still was asking me... do you think its the right one. I rolled my eyes and thought of my poor husband with his analysis paralysis.
So... back to our T.V. that died. I thought in my mind. Oh no! Its going to take him forever to find one. I don't watch a lot of T.V. but... I like watching cartoons with Fiona and a show or two with dear hubby. (Depending on what we have DVR'd)
Surprise surprise he narrowed it down to two only took... about two hours of research and when asking me if we should get it...(from amazon) I pushed the checkout/place order button and that was that. Ta Da! Replacement T.V. shall arrive shortly.
It crossed my mind perhaps I could be the most excellent wife ever and order an in home sound system. However, the budget in my mind was $200... and apparently (after searching for 15-20 min (much less than my chosen partner :-)) that number is quite laughable. So...we'll hold off on that one.

In other news we are getting closer to the "find a house" timeline. Yay!!! Exciting. We'll be looking for a well constructed outdated ranch just north of where we are now or perhaps a condo in broadripple village. We will see what is available when the time comes. What we do know is that we don't want to be far from the monon, broadripple village, or my practice. We do want to be in a neighborhood, and have 2-4 bedrooms. I'm hoping for something we can develop into  Atomic Ranch as we get the funds but is functioning well now. I can take yellow wallpaper and green bathtubs. :-)

Miss Fiona is not a baby anymore. She is a full on toddler. She has a great personality... until she uses my own stubbornness against me but, this is just karma coming back from my childhood. ! She's a lovely little lady who likes to eat rocks, dirt, pour out her bottle while telling herself "no no no",  yell Hi to just about everyone she sees in the store or out and about, and gives me kisses when say "Fiona, I love you." :-x

In my music house I am quite the zen girl. Self lead guitar still kicking and singing with Bahama Llama. I just ordered a capo and some guitar picks for the first time ever. I've got several songs I can play... slowly. Skinny Love, Ho Hey, hallelujah, sunshine, landslide... :-). Jesse and I are going to see "The Tallest Man on Earth" at the vogue in a couple weeks. Super pumped for that. Better believe I'm fixin to get a t-shirt!  

Love and light,
H
                                    

Mother's Day!

When Fiona was first born I sang her this song. She is an amazing lady. I have many loved ones who have children of their own and those they love deeply. Children bring light to our lives and laughter to our hearts. Enjoy this first recording of my new skill guitar playing and singing. (2 weeks in) Recorded during naptime Mothers Day 2013.  

The upload wasn't done right so the sound is off. Can't fix it because little Fiona just woke up! Have a great day!

Love and Light,
Heidi

Music

I have a family history of musicality from my fathers side of the family and passion from both sides. My personal history includes piano lessons that my dad traded landscaping with the local piano teacher for, first chair french horn in middle school, singing throughout highschool (which I didn't get over my stage fright fear until college) at many wonderful weddings and I took a beginning guitar class in college (with a very cheap guitar that couldn't hold its tune. My teacher said it belong in a fire. LOL)

I miss singing. Its a part of me that needs nourishing. Those of you who have experienced this outlet of creativity can attest that you know when its lacking. You know when its time to fuel that part of your soul. However, my rock and roll band days are done. I don't want to devote the time to commit to meeting with other musicians. I don't want to subject my body to smoky bars. I find myself longing to sing :-) childrens songs. What I want... I want to play the guitar and sing to my little girl. I want to see her twirl and dance and jump and sing with me. I want to write her a song to tell her about the world and the joy she brings to it for me. I want her to hear and feel my love surrounding her through music.

Next order of business.

1. Get a guitar. (affordable :-))
2. Learn to play said guitar.
3. Continue step 2... forever. LOL.

Photos are of a couple bands I was in from college. Ahhh memories. Good times (except for the playing til 4 am (waiting to get paid til 5am... class or work the next day and ears hurting from speakers being so loud.)

Have a wonderful Saturday!

Running

Spring Fever has ignited a running passion in at least half of the patients coming in.

Its very exciting to be part of such a health minded community. Running isn't the only exercise of course but it does lend itself to be easy to take up.

Cheering on our patients who are headed to Boston in a couple weeks as well as those who are training for their first Indianapolis Mini. Exciting to finally feel the spring happenings cycle in.

Of those who come in the most common mistakes are.

1. Not staying hydrated.
2. Not stretching at all.
3. Too much too fast.
4. Wearing really old shoes to run in.

Catch the Spring Training bug and go for it!

I haven't run since before my pregnancy. I jogged... maybe twice but didn't stick with it long enough to get the good... I love running feeling. There is nothing like that feeling even with cycling or yoga... its different. Each practice has their own... in the moment zen feel. You know it if you run and you don't get it any other way if you don't. I'm looking forward to enjoying the better weather by getting out. 
Cheers!

Eggs: a great source of bioavailable protein

On the home front:
We have taken another step to improve our health here at the Kline home.

Most sugar and flour out... eating "clean" in.

We have cleaned up our breakfast and our snacks... and I have taken a step to improve my daily cup-o-joe.

Old Breakfast: Protein bars. Jesse had a cliff bar (12g protein) and I had a Think Thin bar (20 g protein) and a banana. One cup of coffee each. His black. Mine with 1/2 & 1/2.

New Breakfast: Something with EGGS! I think we went through 2 or 3 dozen this week.

Cost: Well the bars were $1-2 each and somedays I would have more than one. So... It is... probably about the same.

1. You have to jazz up the eggs otherwise choking down 3 eggs (4g protein/egg) per morning is boring compared to the chocolatey taste of the protein bar aka (candy bar breakfast!)
2. You have to get up and make a meal out of breakfast... including food prep, cooking time, eating time... and more dishes. :-(

Daily one should get: your weight in lbs * 0.4  = grams of protein you need.

Adding in avacado, tomatoes, cilatro, mushrooms, hot sauce... all helps.

Protein is a major need in the diet. You can't absorb calcium without it. You can't heal without it. Basically the body doesn't run/run well without protein.

Note: When taking sugar and gluten out of your diet... you have to eat more to match the caloric intake your body needs to burn. ESPECIALLY after spin class.

My Friday night spin class was great. However... I woke up at 3 am STARVING!

The other way my breakfast is different is I've been drinking... what is called Bullet Proof Coffee. (from Paleo diet enthusiasts)  Coffee (I drink half caff to keep the damage to my adrenals down. I should go full decaf but... I'm not ready to commit to that yet.) with added grass fed butter and coconut oil. Adding these healthy fats sustains energy for the morning and I feel... has a cleaner brighter burn. (referring to our energy level as burning gas/oil.) I'm liking the results there.

In other meals throughout the day focus on vegetables, complex carbs, and protein. The main difference is a lot more vegetables and little to no desserts/baking. I did make a dessert last night that included cocoa powder, almond butter, honey, and egg. Not bad for a "cheat" on the lifestyle we're trying to implement.

Another goal we gave ourselves was no alcohol as your body responds to it like sugar... effecting the pancreas, adrenals, thyroid, gut... well everything. Its out for the next couple weeks. Not hard when you have a kid and don't go out anyway. Jesse... the fancy beer drinker in the house is fairing very well. I know he missed his Friday night beer yesterday but he's hanging in there. He says its worth giving up beer to have me so involved in the meal planning. (I guess I was slacking in helping out... oops)
 We started this on Monday of this week and so far.... The pros out weigh the cons. I've had a couple irrational moments due to hunger. (My own fault for not having appropriate food ready to eat at the office.) All in all... next week here we come we'll see in what ways life improves now. We're investing in the future us. Plus, I want Fiona to have healthy eating habits and I can't eat one thing, tell her to eat another and I can't have her eating what I know is not good for her either. Once and a while yes but frequently no.

So here's to small changes over time that make a big impact and sticking to that small change until it becomes a habit. You either dose yourself daily with health and wellness or dose yourself with future challenges (emotional, nutritional, and physical). As long as the scales are tipped to health.... you're good. Keep track of your wellness scale. (This brings to mind the patient who after weeks of not healing finally (after much questioning) revealed he carried around a big gulp soda daily and sipped on it all day every day! Out of habit he was dosing himself with phosphoric acid and sugar... and rotting his insides. He's made some lovely substitutions and changes... and of course has lost weight. He also has changed his pre-diabetic status, length of a healthy life, no doubt is in a better mood for his family with less strain on his body, sleeping better, no back pain... on and on)

Many patients ask me about cleanses and diets supplements and yada yada. Is one perfect... no. (there are a lot out there!) Are they bad?... some of them can be depends on the person. It is the exploration of what you're working for that is good. Every person is different. Genetics, stress, lifestyle. Something new to strive for and perhaps some of the changes you make will stick. Its about the lifestyle... every day. It depends on what you're ready for and what is motivating you go get there and correspondingly what is motivating you to make the change. We don't change until the pain of staying the same is greater than the effort it takes to change. What do you want to improve on? What is the small change or big change you can make to step closer to the you tomorrow? These words only touch on the tip of the iceberg of what comprises who we are and what we become... bottom line... you are in charge so take charge and take that step for the right reasons.

Namaste

(off to the Y for some Sunday cycle class fellowship)

Breathe a breath into your belly.
Way down deep into your soul.
Reach the resistance.
Breathe into it an let it go.
Be easy. Be the flow.

Take this time on a rainy day to breathe deep.

Who doesn't love jumping in the puddles. Rain landing on your face. Running to your car feeling the excitement of running in the rain.

The summer before I started college (feels like yesterday but.... isn't. #sighgettingold) I was fortunate to be a part of a group called deCycles. We rode from Bloomington, IN to Atlantic City, NJ. Lets just say that trip was a MAJOR turning point in my life. As many other participants in the wonderful group/organization can attest. Life changes while on a bike.
One of my most favorite memories from that trip was riding my first 100 mile day. In the rain. On flat ground. My group had several of my favorite people from that trip in it. People who were alive in their being. Singing, laughing, enjoying the energy that takes over and gets you down the rode. We were light and pure in the moment.
I thought that 100 miles would be such a hard day and... when it was over I could have ridden much more. That is when I knew... I had so much more in me and all it took was one more pedal. One more song to sing... to reach the next break.

That lesson has carried me, been my companion... and a catalyst to reaching and stretching into more.

Cheers to a rainy day. Someone out there is finding their moment right now. Maybe its you. Soak in those good moments around you. Breathe it in.

Our house

Our house is somewhat of a minefield. Squeaks, creaks, and pipes banging when any water is used.

Add that to nap time and then... almost non-existent walls and you have a pretty level 3 difficulty game.

So here's last night......

Fiona has been a baby sized hungry hippo the last few days and yesterday morning woke up at 4 flipping AM! to A. play and B. (my best guess) EAT! So to avert that from happening this morning Jesse pumped her little body full of food yesterday. Feeding her until she said no. Which was apparently a lot of food. So we were pretty pleased with the out look of our Sunday morning set up. We have a saying in our house... "Its all about the set up." We thought she would sleep all happy with her cute little belly of no hunger.

Sidebar: "Its all about the set up" Which came from the days of attending IU-Bloomington and Jesse, Sean, and I would play pool/billiards. Now this wasn't any game of billiards. It was a NEVER ENDING GAME of billiards. We weren't any good.... at all. So.... we developed the "Its all about the set up." and when someone did hit one in the person before took partial credit from the set up. :-) ... End Sidebar.

So Fiona was full belly, in her bedtime uniform, footed PJ's with long socks underneath, sound machine and humidifier on, down at 7:04. Ahhhhh! Saturday night was now ours. So naturally we...

Sat on the couch and watched DVR'd Raising Hope. Jesse went to bed to read and I watched SMASH. Show ended I felt sooooo tired it must be 11:30. NOPE. 9:30! HA! Bedtime.

2AM! The Poop Monster arrived. Oh NO NOT THE DREADED POOP MONSTER! Fiona Kline attacked at 2 AM... poop and soaked through the diaper with pee up and down her whole front. Sheets needed to be changed and little girl in a new sleep uniform. (I didn't know all of this until Jesse came back to bed. He always jumps up and tends to her in the night. I'm super Lucky!:-))
Jesse rocks her back to sleep and.... lays her in bed and... Stealth NINJA walks out of her room and into ours avoiding two HUGE areas of creaks. You have to know where to step. One miss step and Fiona is up like a light. 3 min later repeat. 3 min later repeat. 3 min later repeat.

Finally 3 ish.... we've laying in bed and let her cry for a bit until it becomes a "real" cry. and finally the gloves come off and Mommy goes in.

I hold her and we lay on the floor while she calms down and twirls my hair and rubs my arm. So sweet I cried a little and know when she is bigger I will miss this. After a while I NINJA stand up from the floor and NINJA lay her in the crib. My ninja lay her in the crib isn't quite as successful and she pops up. I rub her back and she's down again. Now I count to 100 very slowly. If she pops up again I start over. She is asleep... for sure and now its the last turn of the event... getting out of the room and back into my bed without SQUEAKING or CREAKING! I'm not as good as Jesse at this but, as a kid we did play a lot of the "floor is lava" game and several other prepping for THIS MOMENT training games. I'm not Katniss but I can do this.  The pillow I brought in gnashed between my teeth, on my tippy toes, my heart beat increases as I try and navigate the terrain. I make it to the door, open it, and pause to look back at Fiona. Breathe. One foot on each side of the door frame. Keep one down and place the other across the hall... where I know a safe zone is. Than... pull the door closed ever so slowly without banging it against the frame. I'm half way into a split and for sure looking something like spider woman! Push off the door frame to the other wall... than to our bedroom door frame where the spots are a little different and I"M HOME FREE! Snuggle into our warm cozy flannel sheets and against my chiropractic pillow. Clock says 4:30AM... and Super Mommy goes to sleep knowing her family is nestled and dreaming sweet dreams.

We won't be trying that set up again. It back fired on us and all over Fiona. Literally.

Did I mention SLEEP?

At home:
Little Miss F has been.... screaming herself to sleep. She had a cold. THEN her two four front teeth decided they would make their way down. They haven't made it through yet. It makes everyone in the house cranky!
She is also on the verge of taking her first unassisted steps.
She is loving stacking blocks and is very eager to smash her fingers in all drawers and doors.
 What joy, what joy!
Daddy is doing such a wonderful job. We are both hanging in there. Parenting is hard... and rewarding. As with everything else.... if you're gonna do it... do it. No one said it was easy. Rewarding... yes. Easy... no. 

At the office:
 Busy as ever and I love it. I love the constant change from patient to patient. Ankle on a healing pre-diabetic (who is improving slowly but surely)... then to headaches from occipital impingement for 15 years due to a prior C5-6 injury (who is finally waking up without pain for the first time in YEARS)... then to a young boy with ADHD,  gut and spine health challenges... then to a Mom who battles all over body pain, anxiety/OCD and wheat sensitivities. This is what keeps my mind busy and engaged and learning daily.
Aside from that (family/practice) keeping up with my own health... H.I.I.T on Monday, Strength and Endurance on Thursday, Friday spin class and if I'm lucky I'll swap out one of those for some time outdoors walking in the forest preferably. Rewarding... yes! Easy... depends on the day. :-)