Since my last post there have been a multitude of changes. Anticipated and not. I've relocated to Raleigh, NC. It hasn't been all peaches. Jesse asked me this morning.... if you could do it over again would you? I said "honey, don't ask me that right now. I don't want to hear the answer." I had to stop and think. and think. Finally I decided yes. If a do over was to be done I would in fact put us... (Jesse and I) through this move again.
Moving is hard. There have been many aspects that have improved and many that are going to improve. In the long run it will have been a great choice. In the short run... I feel like my engine is loosing gas at a faster rate than it is gaining. However, I am in the belief that gratitude is the answer to staying afloat. So I will now reconvene this blog today in hopes that adding this to my routine will be a hand hold through this rough road. The main stay that somewhere out there we will connect and my story will be in your heart and yours in mine because we are all in this world together.
Seven months into our location. First year starting a practice. Taking boards again to satisfy the states requirements for a higher score than the rest of the country. Not getting that score in the Fall. Thinking about starting a family. Being near my family that both nurtures and aches. Approaching the opportunity to retake the exam again. Making new friends.
Learning that I am worthy of love just being.
Then there are the feelings of Japan. What am I. Who am I. Why did this happen? What can we/I do? How will this effect us? our world? So much at once. What is the good in this situation? What is the positive light? Where are the uplifting stories? How can we ban together to get through this? Just Breathe.
I am not perfect. I am human.
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