We pulled into Wake Med Cary Women's Pavillion parking lot after having to turn around, return home and get our insurance card. DON'T WANT TO HAVE A BABY WITHOUT YOUR INSURANCE CARD! On the way there called the doula and she said she'd meet us there. We went to registration then shown to our labor room. As I walked in I was thinking... this is where its goin down. Phew... big breath. Our nurse midwife came in, super cool high energy latin lady, talking a mile a minute with a huge smile on her face. (Glad she made the choice to forgive me for not calling sooner... I thought I had ruined the birth by pissing off the midwife. Relief!)
Key Players
Night Nurse: Deb (later to be renamed) southern draw and super sweet disposition. Loved the buckeyes Jesse made for her. He made them as I was walking up a storm earlier in the day.
Midwife: Jessica (feisty latin chica talking a mile a min and oozing with spunk).
Moi: Ushering the star of Part 3 of our story Miss Fiona via the birth canal.
Jesse: Doting, slightly anxious, and highly caffeinated husband.
Carol: quirky, calm, been around the block doula.
Jessica laid out our plan: she was to leave us alone to let me labor naturally until I needed her. We were to start a round of penicillin and get started on pitocin. (Once your water breaks they like you to deliver the baby within 24 hours... clock was ticking and with no strong contractions on my own labor had to be induced.)
Two things happened next to advance our story 1. physically settling in and 2. Emotionally getting into rhythm with what was unfolding.
Physically: We got the IV in (the back of my hand. Nurse said I was GENEROUS with my blood as she put the IV in. I could feel it wet and running down the back of my hand... all about how you word it folks) and got the belly monitors on... one to monitor muscular contraction and one to monitor Fiona's heartbeat.
Emotionally: I'm glad getting the antibiotic gave me some time to settle into the situation. Wrapping my mind around the fact that contractions hadn't started and I had done everything I could have done and would not have a natural birth. Now it was about being in the moment in that space and time and focus. I went through about 15 minutes talking and crying a little with Carol about how I was upset that I hadn't labored at home how I'd envisioned and was mourning the loss of that story I had told myself and been comforted by for MANY months. I made a choice to let it go and feel joy for the what was actually happening instead. (the athlete adapts)
Pitocin is the synthetic for of the hormone oxytocin and is used to get contractions going and in a pattern. One big difference is oxytocin can cross the blood brain barrier and helps the woman birthing have feelings of contentment, reductions in anxiety, and feelings of calmness and security around the mate. Pitocin does not... it just induces contractions. (boo!)
The pitocin was started at a low dose... a 2 and was to be increased by Deb every two hours. Some doctors do not do a gradual increase and bring on labor full throttle asap. Thankful that was not the case for me. Contractions started... I found I needed to have my face buried in the corner where the mattress met the rails with IPOD in one ear turned up LOUD (found this helped with pain while getting tattooed and highly recommend it) during the contraction (kind of like a sprint) and Jesse and Carol in the other ear cuing me to relax, drop my shoulders breathe. Over the next couple hours I changed to being on all fours on the bed then sitting on the ball next to the bed. Each posture I had to have Jesse right there by my left ear and IPOD in the right. Pit was increased each half hour and at 10 or so we moved to the tub which Carol and I agreed would happen during transition.... last stage of active labor. The tub was wonderful.... filled with warm water up to my neck, flameless candles, and soothing music. I had my feet toward the spout, Jesse on the right edge of the tub leaning down to me soothing and cuing my relaxation to the right ear but gently holding my head through contractions. Carol was at the foot of the tub and was pretty much ordered by me to moan with me so I could match her tone and breath rate. This part I had envisioned. As the contractions became stronger and I felt my pelvis opening as Fiona was pushed lower with each wave of muscular contraction my Ooooooo I was doing to get through the contraction was harder and harder to maintain. My contractions were not forming a consistent pattern. I had two close together than a break then two close together. I tried telling Deb that the pattern was just fine. I liked the break and so what if she wanted them all the same timing apart. I felt I was doing just fine and the hip opening life bringing pressure was ENOUGH FOR ME! But.... Deb upped the pit and I pouted... rather sobbed. Thats when the darkness was upon us (Its always darkest before the dawn) and I lost my cool and my focus on birthing naturally and changed to convincing these two people who I told time and time again my plan for bringing Fiona into the world... I had changed my mind! I wanted pain medication!!!! STAT! Thats when Carol brought on her... Can you get through one more contraction. I said yes... but I don't want to. Can I yes. Do I have to... Not when there are DRUGS within walking distance! Carol was not budging. I moved on to Jesse. I looked deep into his eyes and pleaded. He just told me several times he knew it was hard to get through but he knows I'm strong and can do anything I put my mind to. YES I thought you're right and right now I'm 100% putting my mind to getting some flipping pain medication! I'm not a hero. No one will care if I have drugs or not. BJ Palmer (the founder of chiropractic) WILL NOT roll over in his grave if I get the meds. I could tell he was starting to feel uncomfortable with watching me as my body went through contractions and the every ounce and animalistic response to what was unfolding. The oooooo's I did through them turned to a grunting sort of body growl. Uncontrollable response to Fiona getting lower and the opening of the cervix. I switched tactics. Trying to tell Jesse this natural birth was all his idea. I never wanted it and why was he making me go through this. Devious I know... but I was pulling out all the stops.
TBC....
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