Fiona's Birthday! Part 3/3

Carol kept telling me by the way I was presenting I was VERY CLOSE to the pushing stage of labor. I needed proof so she suggested calling in Deb (who was on my poo poo list from upping the pitocin to a 12 when I wasn't ready and pleaded to stay at 10.) I think this is where I felt no longer focused and with the labor and that it was happening too me instead of me being an active participant. Carol discussed with me if I was dilated to an 8 or 9 forgoing pain meds was doable. I told Carol to shove it. (in other words) I didn't care how far dilated I was I wanted this pain to go away. It was no longer bearable pain it was suffering. Pitocin is no joke. It gets the job done!

Deb came in to check me and I was at a 6. I had come in at 5ish pm and had gone from no dilation to a 6. So probably 12 ish hours of laboring. Not bad now that I reflect on it but at the time I wanted to be DONE! I talked with Deb... in between body opening contractions about my options. We decided to go with something I call the Drunk Drug. Don't remember the real name. It didn't touch the labor waves but it did make me not dread the next one as soon as the current one was over. In fact once I got the drunk drug the contractions intensified because I relaxed more and dilated further. I had to leave my beloved tub and move back to the bed to get 1/2 the meds as a shot in the arm and 1/2 through the IV. Then I had the urge to PUSH!!! What an intense feeling. Its like the urge to vomit. Your body makes it happen and it is intense. However since I wasn't fully dilated I was instructed NOT TO PUSH. How the hell do you have a feeling like that and make your body not do it. So I changed my breathing pattern to shallow and quick to keep from pushing her head against the cervix and inflaming it. If you push when the cervix isn't dilated enough you've got a situation you don't want. Your corking the opening the baby is supposed to go through. OK so while I'm desperately trying not to push during, while waiting for the epidural, I peed the bed instead. Yup, it happens. My body said not pushing the baby out... no problem we'll empty the bladder. The young, the old, the birthing... we pee the bed. Very liberating. Good thing they have these chucks pads that they take away real quick when they are "soiled".
Then the angel of mercy appeared. The anesthesiologist wearing satin white and a great set of white wings. ;-) He said a couple things to me. Blah blah blah. This was the part where he was making small talk to assess if I could hold still during a contraction as he inserted a needle in the epidural space of my SPINE!!! Before the birth I was UBER afraid of this and during this moment I wanted nothing more in life. I held still just fine. I signed the paperwork saying I would not hold him/them responsible for permanent nerve damage or etc... I grabbed the pen and clipboard like it was a piece of dark chocolate...quick get that medication flowing!

Then the dark skies opened up, the sun came out, and the little cartoon bluebird from zipadeedoda came out and joined us. No kidding. Such a difference. However, I would not change a thing! I know I shouldn't play the what if game but I wonder if I started labor on my own what would have happened. Any who...Deb checked me again 5 min after the epidural and I had dilated to 9! She turned the lights down low and for an hour we waited for the cervix to open the rest of the way and Fiona to drop. Jesse and Carol took naps and I stared around the room soooo excited to be out of pain and have her so close to being here. This was around 6am-7am.
7am pushing started. Drunk drug still in effect and no discomfort what so ever. Debs shift was over but she decided to stay for Fiona's birth :-). What a wonderful nurse. (She also came to visit me the next night. Just to say hi) So since I was medicated up I'm not sure in what order the following events happened and the further away from the birth the more I forget.
So... since I had an epidural I was now confined to the bed. I could feel my legs but they were tingling like they were asleep and I was super happy to be at the end of the labor. Deb summoned our midwife. Jesse held my left leg, Carol held my right and we used a birthing bar. It attaches to the hospital bed and gave me something to pull against during contractions when pushing. FINALLY... the midwife arrived and she had me hold these handles on the side of the bed for leverage. Then lastly we used a sheet to wrap around and I gripped the sheet ends like tug-o-war. This is when the fun started. I was signing Salt-n-pepa "push it" and other songs that pertained to our situation. I was also telling jokes and all the nurses were laughing so hard they were wiping away tears.
This is where we had a slight complication. I had a band of tissue that was criss cross over her head keeping Fiona from dropping the last little bit and as I was pushing her (with ALL MY MIGHT!!!) it was tearing and I was bleeding quite a bit. No matter... I have tons of blood. So they had to cut the tissue and stitch it as Fiona's head pushed against it. (Don't know how I would have done that during an unmedicated birth. Phew)
Then, Jessica, said as Fiona was almost out I might feel the "ring of fire". When the perinium stretches so far it BURNS. So... I started singing Johnny Cash "ring of fire". There was an uproar of laughing and I told them all to join in the singing and hadn't other women sung this before? Jessica said no they are usually focused on the birth and not a jovial as I was.... (maybe they should get the drunk drug before the epidural or be in such intense pain and be so relieved it was gone.)
Sometime in there my sister arrived and started cheering me on with Bill Cosbys. Push em out shove em out Way out. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYR9xX6DvpM) SEE THIS LINK for the video. Start at minute 5:02. (We would listen to Bill Cosby standup on tape when we were little.) One of the nurses... Sara perhaps... said OH MY THERE ARE TWO OF YOU! LOL. Such fun. :-)
Who wouldn't want to be born into a room of laughter and singing? It was amazing and the feeling afterwards was sheer bliss. Nothing even compares to it. Nothing.
Though our birth did not go as our birth plan desires foretold it really is nothing but a wishlist. Medication serves its purpose to start a labor or pain management. I have no nerve damage and the epidural didn't even hurt. So as with everything... go with the flow. Let life unravel. Abundance abounds and all that mucky love stuff beautiful babies bring.

The post labor nurses and midwife all said in the notes it was mentioned that Fiona's birth was entertaining and enjoyable. Thank you for reading our story and just so you know I will be burning a cd for my midwife and presenting it to her on our 6 week check up. Comment on facebook with any songs other than push it and ring of fire you think would be good additions to the mix.
Love and Light,
Heidi